What's next

After my OB appointment last week, I called the specialist and got an appointment for April 8th. It's a cerclage consult. I'm not sure exactly what will happen but I'm guessing he'll want to do an u/s to take a look at my cervix. Another chance to see our pumpkin! It's at Medical Center of the Rockies this time instead of by PVH (he switches between offices) so we'll have to leave early. That kind of sucks because I'm trying to save up as much time as possible for when/if I have to go on bed rest or for maternity leave. I don't want to keep taking unpaid time off to go to these doctors appointments (I don't get paid leave until this week in April...I think).

After the spotting I had on Monday and Tuesday, it stopped...until Friday. It was full on, bright red blood. Nothing in the mucus this time. Of course, I can't get a break. It was less than it had been and there wasn't any the next time I went to the bathroom, so I decided not to worry about it. We just had an u/s and I still had all the pregnancy symptoms.

Since then, I've been fine. Until today. Well, really, the last few days I've been feeling great. Too great, in fact. Monday was the worst day for morning sickness so far. Still no vomiting but it came closer than ever before. Then on Tuesday I felt fantastic. Same on Wednesday and today. I'm still having some headaches, a little bit of nausea, but feel so much better than I have. I'm trying to enjoy it and tell myself that it's not uncommon to have come-and-go, vanishing symptoms. Well, there was a little pink this morning. Very little. Still enough to freak me out. We still have a week before the appointment and I'm going to be worried the whole time now.

I bought a doppler from Amazon. Right after we had the first ultrasound. It's really nice! I figured it would give me peace of mind. Even after all the controversy on BBC about whether to get one; so many women post about not being able to find the heart beat and freak out. I'm not naive, I know there is a good chance that I won't be able to hear the heartbeat with it until 12 weeks. I'm just going to keep trying and not worry that I can't hear anything. I'm only 10w3d after all...if the ultrasound dating is even correct. According to when I ovulated I would be 10 weeks exactly today so it would make sense why I haven't been able to find it yet. I'm going to try again Friday so that either way, I’ll be at least halfway through 10 weeks so I have a much better chance of hearing it. I wish I could, it would really reassure me until the appointment next week.

So that's my life lately. I'm just being a big worrier for my baby. I don't know how women once upon a time did this. No u/s until 20 weeks and just assuming everything was ok. I guess that's all I can do now too. Just hope that everything is fine. Another count down to the next appointment begins. 1 week and we get to figure out what's next.